Why Is A Raven Like A Writing Desk?
by Kimberley Francisca
Summary: When Alice is forced to marry, the Mad Hatter must do all he can to re-claim Alice's heart. PLEASE REVIEW! HatterxAlice
1. Chapter 1

I invite You To A World Where There's No Such Thing As Time

Alice Kingsley was sitting in her room, trying to remove the frilly ribbon her mother had put in her hair. She loved her mother dearly, but some of the things she forced Alice to wear were simply awful! She ran her fingers through her hair to flatten it, then evaluated herself in the mirror once more.

It had been two years since Alice had been to "Wonderland" for the second time, but of course she didn't remember that. She didn't remember anything of the sort, although longed for it each day. A world of her own. It was a shame she didn't hold the memories, because then she would remember that today was a very special day.

[flashback]

'Stay with us…' The Hatter pleaded. 'Stay with me, Alice..'

'I wish I could. But there are things I must do, questions I must answer…' Alice glanced at the White Rabbit. '… Things I am late for.'

She lifted the potion to her lips with shaking fingers, but did not get a single drop before the Hatter dropped to his knees before her. She paused and looked down at him, startled. 'Hatter?'

'You won't remember me.' He looked up at her with puppy dog eyes.

Alice laughed out of relief, earning a scorned look from the Hatter. 'Oh, Hatter! Of course I will! How on earth could I not?'

The Hatter suddenly wore a dark look. But as fast as it had appeared, it was gone. He gave Alice a lopsided smile. 'Of course, my mistake. Well, at least let me give you something to remember me-' He cleared his throat. '-Us, by.'

Before Alice could protest, he reached into his left pocket and pulled out the most beautiful ring Alice had ever seen. It was not made of gold, silver, pearl, diamond or crystal. It was a single red rose, preserved by methods Alice did not know, on top of a band of small vines that were intertwined for strength. It was the most, magnificent, mad ring ever and not the first thing to take Alice's breath away in this strange world of Underland.

'I love it, thank you, Hatter!' Alice went to take the ring, but the Hatter pulled it slightly out of reach. Alice hesitated, confused. 'Alice.' He said, with all seriousness. 'Before I give you this ring, you must promise me something.'

'Anything, Hatter, for you.'

'Upon your return to Underland, we will marry.' The Mad Hatter broke out into a smile bigger than that of Chessure and immediately Alice knew that this was not blackmail, nor was it an order. She wasn't forced to do anything. It was a request - a proposal, if you will.

Alice mirrored his smile. 'Well,' she paused for dramatic effect. 'I suppose I did say anything…'

Both of them had not yet noticed that all the others were as still as a brick wall, listening. They certainly did realize when the others broke into a mass of applause. All except from Mallykun, the dormouse, who was being comforted by Chessure.

The Hatter carefully took the ring and slid it on to Alice's left ring finger. It fit perfectly, as she'd expected, for the Hatter had spent many days measuring heads, why not fingers?

Then he stood up and lead Alice into a sweet, but passionate kiss, their tongues dancing. Neither was more happier than the other and neither was sadder. When they broke apart, the Hatter silently handed Alice the vial of Jabberwocky blood. She took it and looked at him, evaluating his face.

'Fairfarren, Hatter.'

'Fairfarren, Alice.' He whispered.

Alice didn't even finish the vial. She went up, up, up, leaving the wonderful, crazy, mad world behind, along with it's Hatter.

[End Flashback]

Just as she had done to the Hatter those years before, Alice evaluated her own face with critical eyes, staring in to her big brown eyes that never seemed to shine.

Finally she left her bedroom, trotting down the back steps of her house to the garden where her mother was holding a party. Alice was now a very successful business woman and had made many make-or-break moves that always proved correct. Many people trusted Alice's word and respected her decisions.

Alice's mother was no different. She was very proud of Alice and understood that Alice did not want to be pressured into marriage, but a mother's patience can only go so far.

The party was full of suitors that her Mother had picked out for Alice, much to Alice's despair. Alice had been asked to choose a man by midnight and because word of mouth was the fastest way for gossip to travel, every man who had bestowed it upon himself to show up knew this.

Talk about pressure.

Alice felt her heart sink indefinitely as she walked slowly through the crowd, only seeing men with every button done up and their white tights pristine. Alice tutted. No originally whatsoever.

After being forced to greet a few of them, she sat quietly in the corner. She fiddled absently with the ring lighting up her right middle finger - it was magnificent, made from one perfect rose and an intricate band of vines. It was an impossible idea let alone reality for a ring, which only made Alice love it all the more. She had no idea where she had got it, so she assumed she made it as a child, too young to be able to remember now.

Alice dropped her head back with no grace at all to search the skies. Such freedom… She smirked at the idea that if she herself took flight, she could search the world for a man that was just as mad and imaginative as she, possibly even more so. That made her smile, something she had not done in a while.

The truth was, she didn't need to search the whole world…. Just under the surface.

'Alice!' Her mother gasped in despair when she saw her daughter. 'What on earth are you doing?! Everyone expects you to make a choice by midnight, so how do you expect to make an informed one if you don't talk to at least some of these men that travelled from far and wide to see you?'

'You can tell them all to go home. I have made my choice.' Replied Alice bitterly.

'You have?!'

'Yes. I have made the choice not to marry, if what is before me my only option.'

'But Alice-'

'It's not as if we need the money, mother. I make enough income as it is. If I were to marry, I would do it for love, not profit.'

Her mother bristled. 'It's traditional-'

'I don't care. I will marry who I want, whenever I wish, without pressure. Why not make that a new tradition? Or a law? Lord knows how many girls would be forever grateful..'

Her mother scoffed and turned away, almost spilling champagne on the butler who had suddenly appeared behind her. 'Sorry, Madam, excuse me. There appears to be a man at the gate, requesting entrance. He says he's here to see Miss Alice, but his name is nowhere on the list. I am coming to you for the correct course of action.' He said like a well trained Labrador. He spoke very fast and out of breath, as if not telling the Lady of the house sooner than running at his fastest was wrong.

Curious, Alice thought. Very curious.

'Thank you, Harold.' Alice's mother said with an air of annoyance. 'I shall go and deal-'

'I will, mother.' Alice cut in. 'He is my guest, after all, or so he claims. So I feel it is my responsibility to deal with him as such.'

Her mother looked at her as if she was about to explode with anger, possibly because of Alice's refusal to co-operate and that this was the third time her daughter had interrupted her. She was, however, obviously taken back by Alice's eagerness to meet this gentleman. Perhaps she had secretly invited him?

In all honesty, Alice could not pass up the opportunity to tell one of these pompous jerks to go back to his perfectly kept horses and polo sticks, where he belonged. A true smile covered her distain when she imagined the look on his face.

Alice jumped up and marched through the crowd, then the trees, to the gate. The only man there was crouching down, whispering to a white rabbit… In a waistcoat?

Was Alice seeing correctly? A rabbit in a waistcoat?

Well, part of her mind whispered, Why not?

'Excuse me?' Alice interrupted them. Both man and creature jumped in surprise and the remarkable rabbit scurried away to the nearest bushes. 'No- don't go-' Alice pleaded, but it was too late. She was so fascinated by the rabbit, the last thing she wanted it to do was leave. 'I'm so sorry,' she addressed the man apologetically. 'I honestly didn't mean to startle you…' she trailed off as she really looked at the man for the first time. It was impossible not to notice his large, vivid, green eyes.

'Alice!' The strange man exclaimed, stepping forward to embrace her tightly. Not normally what a people do on their first meeting. Alice was so shocked that she wasn't able to hug him back. Soon, the arms dropped from around her small frame and the man stepped back, allowing Alice to see the clear disappointment in his eyes and the guilt written on his face. 'The White Queen told me not to do anything rash..' He mumbled to himself, then said louder 'I'm sorry, Alice, I could not contain myself. You look very beautiful today, by the way, reeking of freedom, like a butterfly taking its first flight from the cocoon!'

What a strange but… accurate description! Did this man know her?

'Who are you?' Alice burst out. 'What is your name?'

The man suddenly became very interested in his shoes. 'Tyrant.'

'Tyrant…?'

'Tyrant…' He appeared to be thinking about what his own last name could be. Usually, a man would proudly state his full name, as it showed family honor and reputation. The fact that this man could not even think of his last name and indeed, did not seem from around here, was very, very odd…

'… Hatter!'

'Mr…. Hatter?' What a… extraordinary… Last name you have...' Alice didn't want to insult the poor man. Surprisingly, he smiled in response.

'Oh, no. Not a last name. I really love my trade.' He corrected her. 'In fact, as we speak I am imagining hundreds of different hats for your pretty little head, all of which look stunning!'

'You're mad!' She giggled. 'I have tried many a hat over the years and none suit. I am simply not a hat person!'

'Perposturous! Garbage! Utter twaddle, says I.' The Hatter argued. He made gestures with his hands as if to measure her head. 'How do you feel about Blue, miss Alice?'

'Well, Mr Hatter, it's my favorite colour!' Alice told him excitedly.

'Just Hatter, if you please, Miss Alice.'

'Just Alice, then.'

'OK, Alice. I shall make you every hat I can think of in bright blue and I _insist _you try every one of them on.'

'Every one?' Said Alice doubtfully.

'Every single one.' Said the Hatter firmly. ' Tell me, how do you feel about Peacock feathers?'

'Feathers… From a what?'

'Peacock, love, it's a bird. It has brilliant blue and green feathers, used to scare away predators. I think it would be fitting for you.' He smirked.

'Oh? How do you know what would be fitting for me? I say, have we met? You seem to know me a lot more than I know you..' Alice frowned, trying to remember.

The Hatter sighed. 'We have, but it was awhile back. I wouldn't expect you to remember.'

'That's frustrating. You don't seem like the type of person I would forget easily.' Alice tried to rack her brains for some faint recollection of this wonderful and mad man, but found nothing - it was, indeed, _very_ frustrating..

'Do not fret, my dear, for I remember you.' The Hatter smiled sadly when Alice wasn't looking.

Suddenly Alice was once again aware of their surroundings and realized that they were still at the gate. 'Hatter, would you care for some tea?' Alice asked politely.

'Would I!' He exclaimed, as if she needn't have asked. He offered his arm and she gladly accepted, leading him through the trees towards the back garden where the dreaded party was being held. ' What kind of tea is it?'

'Pepermint tea!'

'Your favorite.' The Hatter remembered. Then hurriedly continued, 'You know, I once tried tea with a hundred cubes of sugar in it, just to see what it would taste like.'

'And?'

'It was such a shame, a waste of good tea! Too dry to drink, you see.'

'It wasn't a waste! It was just used in the name of trying something new, rather than actually drinking tea..'

'By the White Queen, you're right! One must always try new things, or else one will not grow.' The Hatter spoke wisely.

'That's… Intriguing of you to say, Hatter. You seem to know a lot more than you let on.'

'I actually learnt that a long time ago, shown to me by the most amazing and wonderful woman I have ever met. This woman, she slayed the godforsaken Jabberwocky, brought the rein of Bloody Big Head to an end and returned peace to Underland. Remarkable. I long to meet her again, one day.'

'Slayed a… What, sorry?'

'Jabberwocky. It's… I mean, it was like a dragon, although we said it could not be so, because dragons are much nicer.' The Hatter explained patiently. Alice was skeptical. 'Dragons? Nice?'

The Hatter just nodded. 'You know, her name was Alice too…' His eyes glazed over in memory.

'Who- the dragon?!' Alice laughed.

'Golly, no! The owner would have to be gallymoggers to name such a beast such a lovely name.'

'Beast? But you just said-' Alice started, but was interrupted by none other than Hamish Ascot. They had made it to the garden and were now standing in pain view of many curious onlookers. Alice had refused Hamish once already, it was a wonder what he was even doing there.

'Alice. Your mother requests that you leave this man's side at once and try talking to some of the _other_ men.'

'Why would I?' Alice argued, annoyed at the interruption.

'W-well because it is impolite to talk to one person for so long, being someone that was not invited in the first place.' Hamish reasoned flimsily.

'If both man and woman enjoy each other's company as much as we, wouldn't you say it would be rude, sir, to tear them apart?' The Hatter interjected.

'I suppose so, but these men have travelled so far…' Hamish turned on Alice again, away from the Hatter.

'I would bet that it is I who has travelled the farthest.' Said the Hatter smoothly.

'Oh? Where is it that you have travelled from?' Asked Hamish, who clearly thought that he could best whatever answer the strange man gave.

'Underground.' Said the Hatter proudly.

'Ludicrous! That's impossible!'

'Only if you believe it is.' The Hatter told him in a low voice.

'You're mad. Absolutely bonkers.' Hamish spat.

'I'd be worried if I wasn't. I am the Mad Hatter, after all..'

Hamish Ascot, clearly beaten, then huffed and stomped away in a manner very much unlike him. The Hatter turned to Alice and leaned in, as if to tell a secret.

'Alice.' He said hurriedly. 'If you had a world of your own, what would it be like?'

Alice thought for a second, but only that. 'If I had a world of my own…. Everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.'

The Hatter nodded absently mindedly. Little did Alice know the turmoil that he was feeling, for he had said almost everything he possibly could to get Alice to remember, yet she still didn't. Almost.

'Do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?'

There, he saw it. That flicker of memory. His heart skipped a beat.

'No..' Said Alice slowly, looking straight into his amazingly green eyes. 'Why?'

The Hatter did not answer appeared to be concentrating on something over Alice's left shoulder. Alice turned and gasped at the sight of her red-faced mother storming towards them. 'Oh, no…'

'Alice Kingsley!' Her mother almost shouted. 'I demand you choose a worthy husband this instant! It is ridiculous for all these good men to stand around waiting while you refuse to make a decision!'

'I believe, Madam!' The Hatter's eyes turned bright orange. 'That is Miss Kingsley's choice and hers al-!'

'Hatter!' Alice shook his arm worriedly. It was probably best if he didn't anger her mother on their first meeting. The Hatter appeared to recollect his thoughts.

'… I'm fine.'

He tugged Alice away. 'Excuse us for just a moment, please.' He said. Mrs Kingsley rolled her eyes but nodded. The Hatter lead Alice out of her earshot. He looked sad and took a deep breath as if to start a speech. He stopped when his eyes dropped to the ring on her right middle finger and everything else he was about to say went out of his mind. 'That's an interesting ring you have there.'

'You pulled me away from that fight just to tell me-'

'Do you know how you came to acquire such a ring?' The Hatter interrupted her.

'I… I assume I made it as a child. Why, does it matter?' Alice replied defensively.

'Oh yes, it matters terribly. If I may?' The Hatter took Alice's right hand lightly and pulled the ring off for examination. Alice was too curious as to what fascinated him about this ring to protest. The Hatter frowned as he looked at it, as if trying to remember something. 'When I made this-'

'You made it?!' Alice exclaimed.

'Yes. And when I made it, I asked the White Queen to mix up a preservative, then I had the White Rabbit help me find the perfect rose… Did you know, that if you blow of the flower, as if you would to hot tea, it still emits scent?'

He demonstrated by lifting the ring level with Alice's face and blowing on it gently. Immediately Alice's eyes closed, letting her sense of smell take over and devour the floral smell.

'I think,' continued the Hatter. 'The reason you don't remember me, is that this ting has been on the wrong finger for a very long time' This time he gently lifted Alice's left hand and placed the gem on her ring finger.

It could have been the smell, or the wind, but suddenly Alice began to cry. Tears dripped off her cheeks onto her ring.

Or maybe it was because suddenly, she remembered.

'Alice.' The Hatter repeated his question. 'Why is a raven is like a writing desk?'

Alice looked up and gave him a watery smile. 'I haven't the slights clue.'

It was then that the Mad Hatter kissed her.


	2. Author's Note

Hi guys,

Thank you sooooo much for all the wonderful support on my story! You guys are awesome :)

I regret to tell the people who have asked that this is just a oneshot. Although I reckon i'll write another Alice In Wonderland story, so it would be better to put me on Author Alert than Story Alert!

Has anyone heard the Alice In Wonderland Soundtrack yet? Did you get the song reference? :P

Here is a picture I took of the ring I brought that inspired the story (add in the missing bits!):

dailybooth/kimberleyfrancisca/4523151

Lots of love

(and virtual cookies to those who review!)

TimexTraveller


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